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The House I Grew Up In

from This House Is a Ghost by Ambien

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lyrics

The shape of the neighborhood I grew up in
is shifting to something I don't fit inside of.
Force me out. I've heard that the sky is
meaning. I've learned that every smile is
a weak kind of admission. I know very few
things well. But I know you. I know that
every time you speak I grow warm
and then in silence I grow cold.
I cannot be a candle for your flame.
I'd rather be a torch, thrown at the house
I grew up in. It's far too easy to burn.
Everything I love is a loss. Every time
I sleep I toss and turn into oblivion.
It's too easy to see the reasons
why I can't sleep, why I can't
dream more than glimpses
of red. All of it, all of it:
I'm tired of love being a loss.
And I feel your words rip out
of me, wrap their hands around
my teeth as I look at myself in
the mirror. I'd break, I'd break
the glass if ever it meant not
seeing me, it meant not seeing
me. I feel, I feel your words rip
out of me, wrap their hands
around my teeth as I look
at myself in the mirror,
as I look in the mirror.
I'd break the glass if
ever it meant not
seeing me.

credits

from This House Is a Ghost, released July 14, 2018

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Ambien Fairfax, Virginia

when we sleep we float like ghosts

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